lobotomy.

last night might have been a tipping point. i'm not sure what snapped, but something did. retrace the steps. blunts/beers with my dudes. hit the bar for last call. me and paulie kick everyone out. a few more for afterhours in the bar. aimless 4am driving for almost an hour. radio on full blast. home. more booze. more chronic. mogwai on repeat. photoshop. twisted thoughts. now that i think about it. definitely the mogwai. why does music have such an ability to completely consume every ounce of my soul? i really need to get back to basics. get back to my artwork. face realizations that i kinda don't want to, but need to all the same. life sucks scum fuck. i hang onto my sanity by mere threads sometimes. but they never break. i always manage to somehow twist them into rope and climb back up. this life is so trivial. sometimes things seem so important. everything is so routine and mundane. robotic. people are walking lobotomies. totally numb and devoid of emotion or humanity. scared of life. scared of leaps.

5:30 AM in my mind looks like this.