funeral for a friend.

as many people know, i had to put my dog to sleep last friday. it was a very hard thing to watch. he was close to 19 years old. i've had him since i'm 16. when i lived at my parents house, he slept in my bed every night until i moved out. i wasn't able to take him with me to my apartment, but it was better for him. at my parent's house, he had a backyard to run around in, and he kept my mom happy.

i have so many memories of him from when i was young. he used to take these running leaps off the steps in the back and do this superman thing. i have some awesome mid-air photos of this. i have to dig those up and post them sometime. i have a ton of photos of him and i plan on putting them all together and posting a bunch of them. he was a little guy, but he was a fucking gangster. he had these massive jet black balls. we refused to get them cut off until he was about 15-16. it was a sad day when he got those things chopped off. he killed a squirrel and a rat in his day. broke a leg and a paw. had a cast and everything. always found a way to sneak out of the yard and just go on little doggy adventures. there was always some neighbor ringing the bell holding teddy and telling us how he was just walking down the sidewalk blocks away.

over the last few months, he was just getting worse and worse. completely blind and deaf. starting to have kidney failure. had a lot of trouble shitting, etc. he needed a lot of care and someone with him most of the time. my dad works all day and my mom has been off for the summer, but she works at a school and is starting work on september 1st. we made the decision to put him down, because once my mom went back to work, he couldn't be alone for 8-10 hours a day. it was a hard decision, especially knowing that he probably could have held on for a bit longer, but in the end i feel it was the right thing to do. his quality of life sucked, and i hated to see him like that.

so last friday was the big day. i spent a few hours with him. just petting him and holding him. it was a very somber day. i bought him 2 bacon wrapped filet mignons for his final meal. dan cooked it in a pan on my mom's stove. we had to pick him up and put him by his food bowl, but he knew right away and scarfed his meal down in about 30 seconds. his nose and his appetite were the only things that still worked for him. i felt like this was the only proper way to send him off:


we all held him as he got put down. i've lost friends and relatives, but this was different. we had to watch the needle go and feel him die in our hands. we stayed with him til the very end, all with our hands on him so he knew we were there. it sucked. i had tears rolling down my face along with my brother and my parents. i mean for my dad to get tears is a pretty fucking major deal because that man is a rock.

it's weird. over the last week, i keep swearing i hear him barking in the distance. where ever he is, i hope he is surrounded by unlimited steaks and hot poodle bitches to mount for eternity. we are getting his ashes from the vet next week. we are going to bury some of the ashes, along with his bed and toys in the yard and plant a tree on top. the rest of the ashes with be in an urn in my parents house, and my mother wants me to put his ashes in her casket when it's her time to go. apparently, that is illegal due to some kind of forensic mumbo jumbo, but i don't give a fuck. those ashes will be with my mom when the time comes.


this is how i like to remember him. just chilling and carefree. RIP teddy. you are missed. i'll see you on the other side little homie.