Thursday, January 15, 2009

late night reflections.

Its crazy how through blind strokes of luck the most amazing people can walk into your life. I think back a couple years ago, when I had my heart ripped out of my chest and stomped into a million pieces by someone who never even deserved it in the first place. I saw everything I thought I loved come crashing down around me in the blink of an eye. I never thought I would ever be happy again. I never thought I could ever have the potential to love again. I was ready to give up and never try again.

But when I look back in retrospect, it is the best thing that ever happened to me. There are so many things I would have never done had I still been in that situation, so many things I would never have accomplished. So many amazing friends that I would never have known. So many places and good times that I would have never experienced.

I have people in my life now that have truly restored my hope in humanity. People that, in the grand scheme of life, I haven't known terribly long, but I really don't know what I'd do without them. I mean people who, if I never saw them again, I'd truly lose a piece of my heart.

I depend on my friends and the people I care about probably more than they know. They are my heart, my lifeline and the thing that keeps this cracked soul still glued together. Without them I don't have much else. I am so very blessed to be in this corner of the world at this point in time with the people that I share my days with.

Going through tough times like I have been recently can really open your eyes to the true good nature of people. I generally think the worst of people and expect them to let me down. It feels good to know that people actually do give a shit about you. For good chunks of my life, I've felt like I have no one that cares if I live or die. I mean I have honestly and truly believed that at some low points of my life. Its a pretty shitty feeling. But recently, I've been nothing but smiles because certain people make sure to always keep one on my face.

I guess I'm getting a little mushy with all this, but bauers have huge hearts and I'm not ashamed to admit it. People nowadays look down on you for being a human being, but I don't give a shit. I am who I am and that will never change. I might not be some pretty motherfucker, but I have the heart of a lion and if you've ever been there for me when I needed it, you'll have my heart for life.

1 comment:

Tatt2chick said...

That is so true! I know exactly how you feel. The way I look at it is that what you go through whether it be good, bad or maybe even absolutely horrible, it makes you who you are. Sometimes the worst things we go through are good for us because it makes us appreciate what we have. I feel the same way about my friends. My family is fucked up and if it weren't for my friends I would have nothing.

 

Free Blog Counter