mind vomit.

over the last few years, i've been kind of disturbed by things that i see. namely in people that i grew up with. you see, it's kinda weird. when you get to 30, it seems like you either act like you are 30 or you act like you are fucking 60. i've been seeing it more and more over the last few years, but recently i've really been crawling through myspace and facebook where i see the profiles of some people who are the same age as me, but might as well be approaching retirement. for real.

i mean seriously. you think about an athlete or a musician or someone like that. typically, they are in the middle of their prime at 30. and that is how i approach my life. i feel like i'm in the prime right now. i work hard and i party even harder. i see people at my age who have really thrown in the towel. just gave up. settling down and having kids with some dumpy looking broad just for stability. it's kind of unbelievable.

i mean yeah, maybe some of these people have a nice house, a nice car, a family and all that. and i guess that's cool. but i live my life to the fullest. i see and do shit that these people will never experience. i run with an insane pack of genius wolves and i wouldn't trade any of the times i have with them for a wife and kids. no fucking way. maybe i don't have all that material shit, but i have an apartment, a car, a good job, a sick freelance job, and i handle my business straight up and down. seriously, some of these people look like they should hang out with my father and its really sad. its like they had the life sucked right out of them.

honestly, i'm at the best point of my life. 30 is young, and in some ways it's better than being in your 20s. i still have the looks of my 20s because i never stressed over school or work during those years. my 20s consisted of drugs, sex, alcohol, bartending and occasionally college. shit happened the way it was supposed to. i took my time, got my degree and graduated on the dean's list. now, i finally have a good head on my shoulders. i have my shit together and most importantly, i have fun with my life. everybody wants to be on some high society, sex in the city, "look at my stock portfolio and my fat wife" type bullshit. it's fucking terrible.

i like shit grimy, drunk and fun. i like young chicks that party hard and get fucked up. i like loud music and smoking weed. i like getting blackout drunk on a regular basis. and maybe i'll die young from cancer or liver failure, but i'd rather have 40 or 50 awesome years than 80 or 90 shitty ones living some bullshit archaic lifestyle just to fit into what my parents or anyone else thinks people should be doing at my age.

i know all that shit will fall into place eventually. but i'm in no rush to act like some ridiculous "grown-up". we are young and we have the world by its balls right now. there is no need to settle into some bullshit life just because all your friends are getting married and you feel left out or whatever. that's probably why there are so many divorces nowadays. people just rush into shit because they feel like that's what they need to do at a certain point in their life. fuck that. motherfuckers hit their peak way too early and think they've seen and done it all. not even close. not even fucking close.

some people might say i'm immature, but i don't think so. i think i'm doing it right, because if and when i do get to 50 or 60 years old, i won't look back and say "i wish i would have enjoyed life more when i was physically able to do so". because the place is here and the time is now. word up.