wrong place. wrong time.

apparently, these are a highly illegal thing to be carrying around:


(mine were actually a LOT nicer than the ones in this picture)

anyway, friday night started off pretty awesome. i got drunk early and i hit the bar and got drunk all night with a lot of good friends. it ruled. i caught a ride home from a couple of my boys who stopped on the way to partake in some shady late night activites (i'll just leave it at that). i was just basically a drunken bystander, but when the cops rolled up on us with guns in our faces, i was guilty by association. i was searched and this cop seemed like he got a boner when he dug into my pockets and found my "problem solvers", as i like to call them. i was immediately handcuffed and thrown in a squad car.

on my way to the station, the officers in the car were so generous as to speed up the car and then hit the brakes so my head would hit the flexi-glass divider between the front and back seats. a real stand-up bunch of law enforcement officials. they got a lot of good laughs at that one. glad i could be there for their amusement. we got to the station for processing, and i figured i would get a summons and be released. this was not the case at all. they really wanted to have fun with us.

so they emptied all of our pockets, searched us and did all the necessary fingerprinting, etc. i've been arrested before, so i know the process. it was kind of funny listening to these officers talk. the one officer was so impressed with my brass knuckles, because they were "WAY nicer" than his pair that he had at home. he was so impressed, that he said he was most likely going to take them for himself. ha! what a model citizen. arrest me for something, but its ok for you to have your own pair and now MY pair just because you can hide behind your badge. fucking awesome.

so when i thought everything was done and i'd be released, i come to find out that i have to post bail. fucking bail. ok, this is a misdemeanor possession charge. there should be no bail for this. i really don't understand any of this. right after we got in, they brought in some 19 year old kid who was wasted out of his mind and driving a STOLEN car. they processed him, gave him a summons and then he was able to go. i mean the kid was so wasted he fell into one of the computers in the office. hmmm, DWI with a STOLEN CAR: you can go home. a pair of brass knuckles in your pocket: you spend the night in jail. that makes sense. oh yeah, and your bail is $10,000. are you fucking serious?

i was given one phone call, so i called my brother and told him to call everyone under the sun, which he did. (thanks to him, i eventually got out and everyone and their mother heard about what happened in his effort to find my bail money.) but from there on out, i was kind of clueless as to what was going to happen. we got put in a cell around 4am. of course me and my boy were the only white boys, but it was all gravy because we are personable people and we just bugged out with all the dudes we were locked up with. homeboy in my cell was on a parole violation but we were just clowning on the dude in the cell across from us. for breakfast and lunch they actually give you mcdonalds. an egg mcmuffin in the morning and a big mac for lunch. luckily, i was out before it was dinner time. they told us if no one came and got us out that night, we were getting transfered to the county, which i was definitely trying to avoid.

finally my boy came and bailed me out at 6:30pm. i spent about 15 hours in this shitty cell and i got no sleep. people were just too loud and i was just too pissed off to even sleep. actually, i've gotten about 5 or 6 hours sleep in the last 48 hours since as soon as i got out, i showered and went on a heavy drinking binge with my girl dawn, who is seriously one of the best chicks i've ever known in my entire life. honestly, sometimes i don't know what i'd do without her.

best part about this story:

when i got home from being locked up, i realized that these fucking cocksucker pigs stole a HUNDRED bucks out of my wallet. straight up jacked me. i know that there are a few decent cops out there, but the ones i was dealing with are some real scumbags. and what am i supposed to do now? call and say they stole my money? i'll never get it back and now these pigs have an amazing pair of brass knuckles and a hundred bucks of mine. awesome.

anyway, i'm going to court tomorrow morning. my charge is possession of a prohibited weapon. its a class 4 misdemeanor, so from what i've been hearing i'm going to have to pay a fine, but there is no jail time on a first offense. i'll be there bright and early to talk to the prosecutor. hopefully everything will be alright, because right now i'm kinda stressing a lil bit.